walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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