I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
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But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
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I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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