I cockslap morals
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
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