I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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