i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Randomize
