nut hugger
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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