its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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