Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
