Don't make out with my wife yet
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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