Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
