Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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