Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
