Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize