but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
