Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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