if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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