i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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