I think I died a long time ago.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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