been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
