Even the bartender felt bad for me
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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