i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
