You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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