i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
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He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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