no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
