Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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