I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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