can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
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The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
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Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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