bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
