Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
