Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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