My nipple is on Facebook.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
