GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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