then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize