The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
