Kiss
Puke
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
