Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
