come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We just shotgunned beers for America
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
