Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
