i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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