my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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