just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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