From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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