my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
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i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
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Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.