I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
