pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
