i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
where does the pee come out of this thing
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
