imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
