I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
