I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
If I die, sorry about rent.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
