Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
