they need to just BURY HIM!
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
