I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize