Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I can't trust your balls anymore.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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