So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
