I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
so much tequila, so little girl.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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