I've blown a few things in my day
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
