Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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