No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
