Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
im drinking this country out of the recession.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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