I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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