I can text with my tongue
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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