i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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